What's a swipe or 4 of some old chocolate frosting in the fridge? At what point am I cheating?
Is cheating when I feel full, or is it when the slightest taste of something other than my raw foods, touches my lips?
Fuck my life. You know, I really was under the impression that I had a bit more self control than I'm currently exuding. I had no idea I had such a relationship with food that I couldn't stick to something for more than a day.
J is not home, he is out for the night so I'm here. I'm here with Jim Adkins and another bowl of watermelon thinking, what next? What do I really hope to gain out of this?
Honestly, I've learned quite a bit so far. I know more about what I think about food and how certain food makes me feel. I've also learned I'm a dirty, dirty liar!
I should go to bed, but the baby has decided she doesn't need to sleep so let's party it up at 10:40 PM. That's not my kind of party. My party involves me, a Digornio Supreme Pizza, and the shades down.
Tomorrow is another day, and as my "followers" slowly grow, I've realized I have a lot more riding on this than two beautiful new bottles of Essie nail polish. If I fail, I fail all of you. Well, that just can't happen. What kind of fuckery have I gotten myself into? How did this even come about? I can't remember, all I know is I'm staring at the kitchen wondering wondering if the light flickering is its sneaky way of beckoning me to the cabinet to nosh on a spoonful of chocolate frosting (which is probably expired, yeah...I know, I never said this would be pretty).
J isn't going to know about what happened while he was out tonight. Is it fibbing? Maybe, maybe just a little.
Should I fess up? I can't let him win and I certainly can't give him the impression that I am unable to continue with this health experiment! I can, it was a moment of weakness and it's only day three for fuck's sake! It's not like I'm on day 15 and an aficionado at using my oven as a dehydrator for bell pepper 'crackers'. Most people trying to quit smoking are given a little more leeway than this.
Tomorrow is the true test. Tomorrow I visit my mother and she has all sorts of beautiful things lining her cupboards and refrigerator (why do I think that word has a "d" in it?).
Listening To: Bleed American by Jimmy Eat World
So, what counts as raw? Can you toast things? (I like toasted oatmeal in yogurt, and was going to recommend it, but. ?) and why is canned coconut milk ok, presumably it has been heat processed during canning? What are the advantages supposed to be of raw foods over, say, a vegan diet excluding processed foods? I know nothing of these matters.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, honestly. I'm not taking this to any extremes because I don't live in a lively area with tons of produce and health food stores at my disposal. I'm quite rural, actually, so this has been slightly difficult.
ReplyDeleteI believe the point of a raw diet is to eat food in its most natural state so it provides as many nutrients for your body as possible. When you cook food, you cook some nutrients out of it.
I don't think yogurt is generally eaten in raw food diets because it's a by product of an animal.
Ooh, toasted oatmeal dry would be...less good. Much, much less good.
ReplyDeleteHaha, yes it would be much less good. I can eat about 1/4 of a bowl of oatmeal until the texture gets to me and I start gagging. It's strange.
ReplyDelete